Welcome Home, Kaneki
by Tsukiyuki101
Summary: This is a one-shot of Touka's perspective from post-Anteiku Raid up until her first meeting with Sasaki Haise in :Re. It has some romantic feelings about Kaneki, but this is NOT a romance one-shot. It is much deeper than that. Hope you enjoy!


"Trash like you should stay out of Anteiku!" "Why did you have to change?"

Those were there words that were constantly on replay in Touka's mind for weeks after she had seen him last. She really hadn't intended on saying such harsh words or beating him up. She really thought that she had learned to listen better, but her actions only proved that she had much more growing up to do. Her temper was set off when she saw him crack his finger similarly to how Jason cracked his. She expected that he would have changed after being captured by Aogiri but not like this. She never even considered the fact that him leaving Anteiku was a possibility. She saw Anteiku as a sanctuary; why would any ghoul that wants to live a semi-peaceful life want to leave such a haven? She also didn't want to lose him. Even though she saw Anteiku as her home, she offered to go with Kaneki when he made his own "Anti-Aogiri" group. She just wanted the Kaneki from before back, the Kaneki she grew to love. She wanted to take her words back. She even planned on apologizing, but little did she know that she wouldn't get the opportunity.

Touka's was studying that night, when Yoriko sent her a text that said, "The coffee shop you work at is being raided! Apparently, it was run by ghouls!" When Touka read the text, she immediately ran from her bedroom to the living room to turn on the television. _This can't be happening, no way. No way. No way._ _This isn't real. This can't be real._ Regardless of her pleas, the raid was very real and being broadcasted on every news channel. Touka collapsed onto the floor, powerless and dismayed. Tears flooded her eyes and drenched her face. Her home, her place of belonging was being stolen, destroyed. She knew that Irimi-san and Koma-san chose to fight in the raid. Touka felt wrong for letting them fight this battle while she stood back helplessly. She knew Yomo wouldn't allow her to go. She knew that Kaneki would try to go and be a masked hero.

 _ **4 Weeks Later…**_

"Touka." Yomo murmured.

Touka lied curled in a ball on a bed. It had been 4 weeks since the raid. She and Yomo had relocated to a different district in the meantime. They needed to lay low from the aftermath of the raid. She hadn't been in school since the raid. Touka wasn't able to take her entrance exams, or even finish her last few months of high school. She wasn't even allowed to talk to Yoriko. Their plans of staying close friends were diminished. The long, talked about 2nd trip to the zoo over the summer would never come to fruition. It would stay a dream in Touka's mind. All of the memories she shared would stay memories.

Touka's hair had grown long, down to her chest, and she lost a dramatic amount of weight. She had no motivation to eat. She had no motivation to do anything. All she could do was remember her last words to Kaneki and sob. Why was she so bad at saying what she really wanted to say? She wanted to tell Kaneki how hurt she was, but all that came out was fury. Similarly, whenever Ayato left her, she also wanted to say something to him, though she was rendered speechless. She had so many regrets, so many things she wanted to talk to Kaneki about. Now it was too late. She told him to stay out, basically to leave again –and he did just that.

Even so, she hoped that Kaneki would've made it back, that she would've heard from him. Yomo had told her that Kaneki was working with him secretly and that Kaneki was the one who informed Anteiku about the raid. However, after the chaos and aftermath, Yomo had mentioned nothing about Kaneki's survival. Yomo's face would sprout a solemn expression at the mention of Kaneki's name. At first, she figured that Yomo was being pessimistic. However, after relocating to her new district, she also heard rumors that the Eye-patch faced the God of Death. Touka truly feared that Kaneki Ken was dead. Some alleged that they witnessed the whole thing. Some claimed that they heard someone screaming, "My brain! My brain!" Touka felt uneasy at the mention of these rumors, just imagining these brutal images of Kaneki made her feel nauseated.

"Touka. You need to eat." Yomo urged, letting himself in her room and taking a seat at the edge of her bed. Touka continued to lay there, lifelessly and in silence. Tears continued to stream down her face, soaking her dampened pillow. Her eyes were swollen and empty. She wanted to tell Yomo how she felt, but every time she thought about speaking, her throat tightened so much that she felt as if she could barely breath. Her mouth felt like it was being sewn shut with thread.

"Touka, it's been 4 weeks. You can't stay in this room forever."

Touka continued to sob. _Old Man Yoshimura. Hinami. Ayato. Kaneki. Father. Everyone I care about leaves me. Am I not allowed to be happy? Am I supposed to suffer? Is my life just a giant contradiction?_

Yomo sat closer to Touka, so he would be able to see her face. He gazed at her with a hurt expression. It was difficult for him to see her in such a state of desolation. He was worried for her. Even though she had barely said anything audible for the past 4 weeks, everything she was feeling –everything she wanted to say- was painted on her pained expression.

She refused to eat anything. Yomo would go into the room she locked herself up in and try to convince her to eat day after day, but Touka never said a word. She never accepted any sort of nutrition. She wouldn't even accept coffee. If she continued, she would starve to death. However, Yomo once again offered her a fresh cup of coffee.

"Here." He nudged, carefully attempting to place it into her small hands. On this day, instead of silently shunning it away, she grasped the cup and gathered the strength to sit up. She was allured by the scent of something so nostalgic. Though she thought that she had cried all she possibly could, another tear escaped from her eyes and into the cup. "Touka. Stop crying. Please. Just drink the coffee." Yomo sighed with his hands cupping his face. He just wanted her to return. This person, this was a side of Touka he hadn't seen in a long time. She was acting like a sad child: stubborn and desolate.

"Why does it matter?" she mumbled, taking a sip of the delicious beverage. After the initial sip, she finished the cup in a matter of minutes. That was the first time she had consumed anything since the raid. Seeing her ingest something gave Yomo relief.

"Let's go."

"Where?" she asked weakly.

"Doesn't matter. Let's go."

Touka mustered the energy to get up and follow him to the door. She wore a hooded cloak, the same as Yomo, so no one would see their faces. She didn't really think that anyone would recognize her though. She and Yomo navigated their way through the streets until they arrived. Yes. On that hot summer day, they both arrived in the 20th ward, just in time to witness the official and final demolition of Anteiku. The very site invoked fury inside of Touka's heart. Yomo could see the rage building up inside her; he took this opportunity to give Touka some words of wisdom and hopefully inspiration.

"I know that you think that Anteiku is gone, but it's not. Anteiku is in here." He explained, pointing a finger at her heart. Yomo was right. She had been depressed over the past 4 weeks, over some serious losses nonetheless. But she realized that she had to work on rebuilding. Going back into the past isn't feasible. Why linger on something that can't be helped? She thought that she needed to put her energy into something that she could fix. Seeing Touka's newfound motivation, Yomo called for Touka to leave. He was finally able to find the spark, the fire in her eyes that had been missing for quite some time. Since before the raid, ever since Kaneki left Anteiku, Touka's spirit had not been the same.

"He got lost going back to Anteiku. That's why… He lost his place of return. I- I have faith him. I know that he will return to Anteiku." Touka spoke these words with such confidence, not because she believed them, but because she _needed_ to believe them. She needed _something_ to look forward to. All she could do was hope that he was still alive.

 _ **3 years later…**_

Touka and Yomo had finally relocated back to the 20th ward. Though, Touka now had dyed her hair a lighter shade of blue and cut her hair short again. It was no longer straight and flat but more wavy and bouncy. She also dressed girlier and assumed the role of being Yomo's sister. She had finally fulfilled her dream of opening her own coffee shop. She made sure to include books for her customers to read, hoping that one day he would stumble in and pick out a story to read. :RE was the new Anteiku. It was his place to return to. Touka meant that. Her plan was to wait for him to come back on his own. Chasing Kaneki in the past never turned out well. Touka had matured some over the years, realizing the error of her hot-tempered ways. Whenever he wanted to come back, he would always be welcomed.

Every night, Touka would write to herself in a diary. She learned that it helped her cope with her issues and prevented her from angrily lashing out at anyone. She would always write about Kaneki. She also missed Hinami greatly. After Kaneki went missing, Hinami went to Aogiri. Touka never knew why, and she didn't try to stop her. She figured that was Hinami's way of trying to cope with the situation. She felt incredibly hurt; it was like Ayato leaving her all over again.

Touka eventually gained contact with Nishiki again. Shitty Nishiki. He also left town and was somehow drawn back to the 20th ward. Nishiki had been cannibalizing and attacking other ghouls. Though, the CCG tracked him down and eventually Nishiki met a ghoul investigator that resembled Kaneki: Sasaki Haise. That is the name that he was called.

"It was definitely him, Touka. He called me Nishio-senpai! And the bastard nearly killed me, AGAIN!" Nishiki retorted, trying to convince Touka.

"Why would he be an investigator?" Touka pondered out loud and downheartedly.

"I know it was him. He didn't seem to remember me though. He said my name, but he called it as if he was unaware that he was saying it. I'm telling you it was him. He stinks likes a female ghoul."

Touka gave Nishiki a slight smile, referring to the female ghoul comment. Touka still bore a worried expression. _Why Kaneki? Is that really where you've been all this time?_ Touka spent all of her energy running the shop and in doing so, she was also ensuring that he would have a fit place of return. She would prep and make sure the coffee was at its finest. She would order more and more books. She would wait for him. Finally, when she wasn't anticipating it, a certain ghoul investigator entered her shop. Yes, a ghoul investigator that had white hair with black hair growing over it; he had also grown tall and muscular. He was an old friend with a delicious scent, a more developed face and a briefcase. That was Kaneki. Nishiki was right. The second she smelt his scent and heard his voice, she turned around to see him there in front of her, in the shop that was for him. It was as if the entire scene took on slow motion. Yomo stared at Kaneki in disbelief. Touka had to take over instead. She took his and the rest of his group's orders and returned with speedy service. She couldn't help but smirk over his teammates whispering compliments about her beauty.

When Kaneki took the first sip of his coffee, Touka couldn't believe it, but he began to cry. Touka wasn't one to judge because she had also cried when remembering how nostalgic the coffee was. However, his face broadcasted that he had no idea why tears were being shed. Touka heard his teammates refer to him as Sasaki, assuming that his tears were a joke. Touka handed him her handkerchief and gazed at him sweetly. She smiled at him because she was truly thankful that he was alive and well, but her smile was full of melancholy. It was obvious that he had no memory of her or even of his true name. Just having him near was so nostalgic, and seeing him cry like that made her want to weep tears of happiness and sorrow, as well _._ _Welcome home, Kaneki._


End file.
